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Misfortune cookies by Nick Nocketback--march
Posted March 3rd, 2009 by Nocketback
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Misfortune Cookies—March 2009
1. Not only will you lose your job this month but people think you’re a dick.
2. Your luck will change for the worse if you don’t begin pleasuring yourself more.
3. A new addition to your family awaits, that is, of course, if you choose to call her back.
4. Stop asking yourself What would Jesus do, and begin asking Why.
5. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips—in your case a whole zeitgeist.
6. Do not look to the government for stimulation, that can only come from you—or a deep Thai massage.
7. Your zodiac sign reveals much this month. Be prepared for painful number ones.
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